When they came one by one

Tonight, sadness and happiness visit me many times one by one and revisited me again and again.
It also happened yesterday
It also happened two days ago
It also happened last week
It also happened last month
and it kept happened in the last one and half years
While the happiness was short, the sadness always scar my memory deeper and longer.

Sometimes I wonder,
Am I too pesimistic?
Sometimes I wonder,
have I lost trust in people?
Sometimes I wonder,
have I made myself unreliable?

How many promise I've already broken?
Each time it was broken, I felt one nail was stabbed in my chest
When one promise
the-most-important-promise
was broken...

darn it!
Why couldn't I just die when I was strucked by Dengue Fever?
It would simplified most of these complicated stupid things...